Sat. Jan 30&31 \ 2010
Right. So I just had the most boring and useless day of my life. I woke up, had breakfast, went to math class, and came home. That was my afternoon. I ate lunch, did some math homework, went out go get a haircut, followed my parents around some stupid store, and came home. And now I`m doing this. These kinds of days honestly chip my life bit by bit until I go crazy. I could tell this would be a bad day too because when I first woke up I felt as if life was pointless, just for a good 5 seconds. Why is that? I wonder to myself all the time. I think it`s because I need things in life to cheer me up, and I use those things to look forward to everyday. If I don’t have these things then why am I living? every other moment I live in life is to wait for the times I enjoy in life, and once that`s over I start all over again. How sad is life? So today was one of those days where I had completely nothing to look forward to, and I guess I realized this when I woke up this morning. So it is clear that I was right, but it`s fine now that the day is almost over. Since I lead such a lackluster life I look forward to little things such as seeing my friends or just being able to go out for a bit. So I will update you with the latest thing I can deem good enough to look forward into in my sad and boring life. Hmm, yes I have my skit coming up tomorrow. Church tomorrow can be for God and seeing my friends. I find that oh so uplifting.
I need to confide in people. I need to interact with fellow human beings otherwise I will go crazy. Do you get that feeling where there are some people you enjoy seeing and being around with? Because you know you will see that one person and it is enough for you to put everything else behind. I`m sure all of you have felt the same way. So there is that special someone I can see tomorrow and that gives me hope, to be able to look forward to it. Yes it is a girl I`m am looking forward to seeing, not a guy. I am not gay, just to throw that out there. : )
Um okay so this post is continued off yesterday, because I totally forgot about this. So this is now me writing after church. I am sad. Just a bit. Once again I have been opened to the fact that other people don’t have time for me. I look forward to seeing other people and what happens? They don`t want to see me, simple as that. I hate this feeling, when you look forward to something so much, and then it`s gone just like that. I have had that happen to me so much, I can`t do it anymore. I don’t want to look forward to anything because things happen and it shatters everything I put so much into. But if I don’t look forward to anything then life turns useless. So what the hell do I do? It looks like I can just make the choices either to give up on life and one day lose it? Or do I keep looking forward to fake things and let it trick me more and more? Either path doesn’t seem too appealing to me, but what can I do? I usually go play basketball Sunday night, because my parents do not mind letting me exercise. But now I`m afraid to look forward to that because what if I don’t get to go? Trust me, that`s happened a lot of times when my dad agrees and pulls out last minute because he believes I don’t deserve to go. I`ve had enough of that. I have had enough of all this. I guess it`s time for me to seclude myself from everyone else. I will do it. Watch me. Not that you would care. I just wish I could find that one person who will really understand me…
Song I`m currently listening to:
Beautiful – Eminem
I love how all these songs can relate to my post. I`m thinking of posting another song of my life with this song, but it`s really long so that might take awhile.
Facebook Fan Page of the Day:
I wish I could see how someone else saw me from their point of view ~
(¯`v´¯)
.`·.¸.·´
¸.·´¸.·´¨) ¸.·*¨)
(¸.·´ (¸.·´ .·´ ¸¸.·¨¯`
To that special someone if you are out there and you`re reading this.
~`–DomDom–`~
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